Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Mockumentary, or so I've been told.

My promised post to the lovelies of Paixao. Enjoy, kids.

The team members of Kennywood Park are less than happy creatures, often stressed out to the point of mental breakdowns and minor fits of insanity. Mid-summer, tempers often run short, creating an atmosphere of tension within even the strongest of families of ride crews. Hours run long, ten, twelve hour stretches a day with two half-hour breaks to break up the monotony. Wages are never enough, and the only thing that eases the pain is the fact that a decent meal comes at a third of the price that the park guests pay. And overtime? Well, that is but a dream, a fantasy for these crazed creatures. After all, the park would prefer to shell out the money for the fines, rather than hand over time and a half to the team members who are spending 50-60 hours a week in the park and on the clock.

Particularly reviled among the groups of team members is the crew of the 514, the Exterminator. Trained with sharp eyes and honed peripheral vision, this ride crew is known for an adherence to park rules. Woe betide any Guest caught line-jumping by these hawks. Immediate ejection from the ride line is the fate that befalls the many who dare attempt. On particularly vicious days, the perpetrators are often allowed onto the platform and ejected from the ride at that point, inches from the cars they endeavored to get upon sooner.

Creatures of habit, the rides team members become increasingly familiar with their rides as time passes, to the point of knowing, in an instant, when something is wrong, without outward indication from the ride itself. They become experts in their fields, treading the dangerous line between safety and hazard as they walk the edges of platforms during operations, and hike stairs, prowl catwalks during emergencies. Armed with water bottles, they face extreme and oppressive heat, and dangerous, slick surfaces that send inattentive guests sprawling. Shrieking parents garner collective cringes as the team members promise the attention of the Supervisors to placate anger and outrage at the adherence to ride safety guidelines.

The Supervisors themselves are elusive creatures in their own right, rarer than the unicorn, though far less majestic. Often more childish than the denizens of Kiddieland, they provide a welcome, if annoying distraction during operations, playing favorites with certain ride crews and team members. Their experience comes to naught as they often find themselves schooled by more experienced team members on the rides they supervise. Favoritism runs rampant among these few, and promotions of any kind are as rare as they, much to the frustration of the team members who put years of blood, sweat, and tears into their work.

And, at the end of the season, their hard work goes under-appreciated as friends return to school and colleagues lose their positions over trivial matters to stamp out bonus checks.

Keep in mind, too, that this is in my paper as is.

...I'm going to hell for this.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 4th, 2007 10:51 am (UTC)

That's brilliant, hon. Keep that for posterity and use it in a writing profile should you ever need to create one - it's an excellent use of metaphor and understatement to create mood and tone, and it's a great read on top of it.

Win, Paiger, win. ♥
Dec. 4th, 2007 03:12 pm (UTC)
So, amusingly enough, I have yet to take that Humor Writing course...
Dec. 4th, 2007 08:30 pm (UTC)
Oh, wow. That was great and a half. :o

*hands over cookies of win*
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )